| Feb. 21st, 2005 @ 06:08 pm be-ho'd a ladaaaay |
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Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: Outkast--what the hell are we livin for?!?!!?!?
So I wasn't trying to, but I've gotten here. I've been called a slut, nasty, stupid, BLACK, B-L-A-C-K, disappeared, mannish, like a monkey, ugly, weird, out-there, antisocial and difficult.
These are all characteristics that I do not value. As a matter of fact, I devalue them. But let's take a closer look to see whether I should give two shits and/or a fuck.
Slut (called 2X's)- A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
A woman prostitute.
A slovenly woman; a slattern.
Slatternly is a bit much to describe me, since I am a bit messy, but I do not, necessarily, attract flies.
I do not necessarily have sex for money, so I would not say I'm a prostitute, though I have, by my definition, come dangerously close to being one.
Sexually promiscuous. Hmm. Well, for a woman in this society to have had more than: let's say two sexual partners at my age might be considered promiscuous, but that's bullshit, if I've ever shoveled it, which I have. I have been sexually active for about 3 years of my life. And had 3 (Edit:holyshit, 4) sexual partners that I was **Willing** to have. And sex is defined loosely here. So, I think we can stike "slut" off the list of things that people have hatefully called me that are true. I mean, sluts are ultra-cool, and if I wasn't attached and getting it whatever way I wanted it at the present, I might be what a radical might affectionately call a slut. If the person calling me that was anything other than a radical, though, calling me that, I would have to kick his or her or se's ass--cause I'm safe, I'm hot, and I can do whatever the fuck I want, 'cause I'm a grown woman and as such, hell is my destination anyway.
Nasty has both sexual and "the way I'm living" connotations. Again, I don't think that I even qualify as nasty. I am messy and disorganized, but nasty is some pretty heavy stuff. I think maggots and scabies when I think: damn-you're- a -nasty-fucka.
Maybe nasty Sexually, since I'm not afraid of fluids.
I am not stupid. I am a genius, actually. IM me to hear more on that.
Yes, I'm black. And only recently has calling me that stopped being an insult. Can you believe it? Black has become synonymous with a bunch of other things that I will not enumerate here, 'cause the majority of my friends are white, and I do not expect you to get it, and I'm sure that I'll come off sounding like a Kwanzaa card, and that's the very last thing I want to do (after rubbing off my lips with a cheese grater)but, yeah, blackness has evolved for me, and I'm sooo glad of that.
This next "insult" is a conflation of the last two. The fact that this pretty little senorita was spelling out to her friend the thing that she meant to insult me with was fascinating and doubly hurtful. Senorita: This girl is B-L-A-C-K. Me, now: Fuck you. Then, I was paralyzed with "does she really think I can't understand her spelling of this word? And, yeah, of course I'm black, does that necessarily make me a bad bumper pool player? Shite." Well, of course, I played a horrible game, and I can probably chalk that up to being so mortified by HER stupidity that I wasn't willing to honor her with my best shot.
Disappear: When I was hardly eating and my mother thought it would be nice to make fun of my corporeal essence (or lack thereof).
Mannish: When I was on the track team in middle school and I would beat all the boys in the warm-up exercises. Also, when I refused to go out with the most popular guy in all the 7th grade--they wrote LESBO on my locker in white-out pen.
Monkeys are rad.
Ugly: Sometimes, sure. But who gives a rat's ass? I'm not my most important visual judge, 'cause honestly, I see myself much less than other people do, so--shite, what-the-fuck-ever.
Weird: maybe. Perhaps you'd be hard-pressed to find someone just like me, with the same interests, goals, and quirks, but that's just like a human being, ain't it?
See Above for "out-there"--though I will say this about my politics. Y'all are lightyears behind me in this respect.
Antisocial: Yeah, sometimes. I'd rather not talk to you about it.
Difficult: If you have gotten this far, then I will no longer be a hardass with you. Deal? Deal!
Whoa, I feel 10000000 times better. |
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